What am I supposed to do?

What should I do to be useful? How can I benefit mankind, mass-awakening, liberation from the oligarchs? Should I be more vocal about me beliefs? It’s far too obvious that the world is heading toward a global fascist state. Should I try to inform people about that? Is there a point? If they haven’t figured out that themselves what can I do to make them understand? Every now and then I post stuff on Facebook relating to the conspiracy or spiritually enlightening stuff. I try to keep it to stuff that even Joe Public understands. Something they can relate to. Some people notice them, but I doubt it has much actual effect. I should probably do more when I talk to people in real life. How do I do that then?

I don’t want evangelize. I don’t want to sound like an asshole who thinks he knows better than everyone else, or an advertiser who tries to make them buy his shit. If I talk to people and try to make them accept new information or discard old beliefs it has to be natural. A conversation. The problem is how do I get into such a conversation? Most people seem only interested in superficial entertainment and popular stuff. Can I break through that barrier of pointless airheadedness? Still, they don’t seem like soulless automatons, they’re simply not used to intellectually facing many of the contradictions inherent in our society.

If I talk to people I should stick to what I know. Not repeat something like a repeater because I’ve heard it repeated many times. While I can say I believe the Illuminati exists I cannot say I know it does. So I shouldn’t initiate a conversation about how the Illuminati has controlled us for millennia, since I am not quite sure how it has happened, or if it has happened at all. Rather I do know that there have “always” been all sorts of aristocrats and elites that have controlled the masses. I can try to highlight that it is still happening now regardless of the propaganda about democracy and equality, and that we don’t have to sit idly by as it happens.

How can I get people interested in their own lives? I don’t think many are. They’ve been taught that the cool people are on TV. Their romances are more interesting than your own. They discoveries of ivy league scientists are more significant than anything you might do. It’s still the deal of we don’t do anything ourselves.

I’m not quite sure what I want either, or what I should do with myself? I want a girlfriend, but then again I’m skeptical will I find someone who’d I find attractive physically, intellectually and spiritually, and she’d feel the same way about me. On an ideological level I want a girlfriend, but have a lot of doubts. Should I spend lot of time on some sort of supposedly spiritual activity like meditation? I haven’t meditated in a long time. I’m not that good at it. Should I focus intently on my Korean studies? It might help me with a lot of things too? Should I delve deeper into conspiracy stuff? Lately I’ve felt sort of detached from it. I don’t mean “going back to sleep”, but that there are all of these rabbit holes you have go down to understand better like Max Igan says, and I simply haven’t seem much point in it.

At least I’m glad 2012 is almost over. For all the hype about the end of the world/awakening it’s been a fairly boring year. I didn’t except anything to happen on December 21st, yet I was sort of hoping it would. Now that red herring is gone, maybe it’d be easier to focus on something real, concrete. I hope I can do something concrete in 2013.

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