Ever since I was a teen, i. e. getting mentally prepared by society to the unfortunate fact that I have to try to find a job eventually in my life, I felt sort of banal dread toward the notion of working. Back then, deep down I understood why I felt that way yet rationally was only half-aware and certainly I wouldn’t have been able to express it in words. It wasn’t simply that I was lazy (which I am, but that’s a different story). Now I attempt to formulate this complex formula of emotions, thoughts and intuitive insights into why the notion of work was, and is, so repulsive to me. No doubt many other people, especially young people, have similar apprehensions toward work.
The average, or at least stereotypical, worklife of an average (or stereotypical) person is a 9 to 5 job, 8 hours per weekday of work. Only real freetime is during the weekend and the occasional holiday. That takes a lot of a person’s time, especially since after 8 hours of work, after you get home you are tired mentally or physically or both. Basically it takes away at least half of your whole life. Therefore I couldn’t fathom how could anyone waste such a large portion of their life to work simply to gain money. I could understand someone’s devotion to their job if they truly enjoyed it and felt they were fulfilling their ambitions.
The most common model for work life in our society is a rather feudal one. Meaning there is usually a company, a corporation, an organization you have to swear fealty to, serve them, work for them, do what they ask you to do, simply to get paid money. I’ve always felt this arrangement is filthy and parasitical, even if I couldn’t have expressed this in my thoughts and words in my younger age. In effect you acknowledge either a big fat middle-aged man or a faceless corporation as your master and serve them, for half of your time. Growing up in a modern, democratic country this notion I felt uncomfortable with this servitude, yet it was and is commonplace. Moreover if I was to serve a master I would have wanted it to be someone admirable such as Captain Picard, master Splinter or Gandalf or something. Not McDonalds, Nokia or some oil company.
I guess in that way I always saw money as some form of energy, even though the idea floated into my mind only in recent years when David Icke or others mentioned it. I hated money, yet I couldn’t see it as a mere tool either, as most working men seem to do. Probably the thought process for most people is something like this: I need to take care of myself and my family. To take care of someone you need money. You work for a company you get money.
I didn’t see it like that. It was more like if I work for an employer whose practices and principles (or lack thereof) I disagree with I’d be letting them feed off of me and violate me. Same goes for work. If I was to make money, it has to be done doing a job whose methods and results I agree with morally and philosophically. Even as a teenager I saw most the corporate and political sphere of society as greedy exploiters. It isn’t and wasn’t of course that black and white, but my understanding of the finer details was quite poor.
As I’ve never had much faith in our money making institutions I’ve perhaps found it difficult to relate to people who are shocked by corporations that sack people when they don’t need them anymore. I didn’t quite understand that in the mind of the working man there existed a trust relationship between the employer and employee. One was supposed to benefit the other, whereas the corporation only cares about the workers as long as they make profit for the corporation. In the olden days some businesses probably were trustworthy, instead of behemoths who use people are slaves when they’re useful and devour them when they are not, as they are now. I always saw them as behemoths, and therefore found it hard to relate to the trusting working man and their willingness to serve.
In a way I think it is a positive development that most of these corporations and governments that people have happily worked for are turning out to be evil, inhuman monsters as it forces people to face the fact that we cannot simply become subordinates to any institution and forsake our reason and consciousness in exchange for an easy life. We have to make our own intellectual, spiritual and moral choices. It is a too easy cop-out to claim that you might not agree with the actions of your employer, but you got to put food on the table so it’s not your place to question it. If you won’t think for yourself, no-one with your best interest at heart can think your thoughts for you.