We tend to associate Alpha Males as men who get all the women, and often also men who frequently chase after women. Another thing attributed to Alpha Male behaviour is acting tough and blusterous. While it is true that Alphas tend to be better with women than Betas, being an Alpha is not just about women. It’s about pursuing your own goals, not someone else’s.
A Beta Male is obsessed with pursuing women, an Alpha is not. Alphas focus on a more worthwhile goal, be it their career, art, sport, research. Something that they find both fascinating and meaningful. They pursue something that is in their rational self-interest, and will also benefit society, such as an author writing books, a truth seeker doing research, or a construction worker building houses. Women find this sort of assertive behaviour attractive, which is why Alpha Males get women. Beta Males, on the other hand, are not confident in their ability to attract women, which is why they spend a lot of their time trying to come up with ways to become more attractive. However, women tend to sense this lack of confidence, and pretending to be attractive does not make one attractive.
A true Alpha Male does not waste his time pursuing women; he has more important duties to attend to. Women find this very enticing. Ignoring a woman is one of the best ways to get her to want to beguile you. They’re like cats. If you’re reading a newspaper, they’ll stand on the page, but otherwise they don’t care about newspapers. If you’re doing something important, they’ll want to sit on your lap, but if you try to catch them, they’ll run away.
There are however people, “players”, pick-up-artists and their like, who spend a lot of time hitting on women and become good at it. I consider this behaviour to be somewhere between Alpha and Beta. Clearly they’re successful with women, yet they haven’t figured out that a man is supposed to have more important concerns than chasing skirt all the time. It’s not that Alpha Males have low sex-drive or anything like that, but that they have higher priorities than pleasure seeking. Eventually though, if you engage in Alpha Behaviour you’re bound to meet a woman who catches your fancy. Just don’t let her drag you away from the important stuff for too long.
Acting rough and tough is another aspect often falsely associated with Alpha Males. In some situations it’s called for to act tough, but men who do it all the time only signal that they aren’t very confident in themselves.
Ultimately though the dichotomy between an Alpha and a Beta is a social construct. I don’t think that there is some switch in the mind of a man that says you are one or the other. It’s a social construct to explain two types of male behaviour, and it works as long as you don’t get too caught up in the semantics.